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Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Time to come out of the closet… 35 years is enough don't you think?... No! Not that way, you naughty minds)

Once upon a time, there was a young woman who fell in love with a young man. They fell in love and got married. They made plans to build a family but it seemed that the woman couldn’t get pregnant. So after 10 years of unsuccessful attempts, this woman not so young anymore went off to the doctor and had multitude of tests done. Her heart was hurting as well as her body. She felt sad and incomplete as she yearned for a child. The doctor couldn’t find anything wrong with her and so, they proceeded on having the man tested as well. This is when they discovered that he was the one who unfortunately had a very low sperm count and the doctor told this couple that they would never be able to conceive the natural way. And so the answer was found but the sadness and despair got bigger. 

On top of it, some people started wondering why they still didn’t managed to conceive a child. This woman not wanting to embarrass her husband decided she would keep the reason a secret, and that she would take on her the wondering looks, judgements, and gossips. A noble choice, a lonely choice…

The man probably loved her even more for that reason. They were both suffering and they both prayed that God would grant them a child even if it wouldn’t be one born from their own flesh.
Little did they know that all of this story would bring to God’s perfect plan… A young baby girl born in one of the poorest area of Bulacan in the Philippines was waiting for this heartbroken and desperate couple to come and take her away from this poor life. 

This couple was my Mom and Dad….

My Mom and Dad were told that my biological Dad was too young to take care of me, and that he was ready to let go of me, with the only condition that I was going to be taken care of by a good and loving family. So my parents went off to this province. They told me they found me laying in a box, a meter away from where the train would pass daily. Yes I was a street child. My step father was the one caring for me as my biological mother had abandoned me to follow her new beau. The day they found me they so saw burning marks on my foot, as this horrible man decided to use me as his ashtray. As I write this, I still have a hard time accepting that this baby was me.

My biological father as well as my Mom and Dad convinced my step father to let go of me, and my parents made a promise to my biological family that they would love, care, and fulfill my every needs.

Mom and Dad brought me home and that is when, at 4 months old my new life began…

What an incredible story isn't it? I learned the truth less than a month ago. I've been through a rollercoaster of emotions since then, but there is no doubt in my mind that all the actions my parents and my family did was made with love. 

For almost 35 years, my family kept the secret from me but only because they so love and respect my Mom and Dad. And I'm so grateful to them for allowing my Mom and Dad to tell me the truth in their own time and if they ever did…  I am grateful to my family for loving me as if I was their own blood, their loyalty and love has no boundaries.

Yes, the secret is out now and my only regret is that I didn’t hear from it sooner. I regret it because it would have prevented Mom and Dad from suffering so much. This is a secret that they kept for so long it has started to hurt them  many years ago. I guess they were waiting for the right time and perhaps they were also afraid that by revealing the truth I would get upset, not understand their reasons, and perhaps leave them.

My mom and Dad did more than keep a promise to my biological family. They gave me a life! A beautiful life! I will never be able to thank them enough, and there is not one inch of me that has felt some kind of anger towards them since I’ve learned this news… In fact, it has only made me love them more. What kind of people makes all the sacrifices they did only to be sure that I would live a comfortable, healthy, fulfilling life? They did, they left everything they had and their family in the Philippines in the hopes of giving me this beautiful life that I have now.

It also has opened my eyes even wider on how big our Lord is. Not many knows the complete story of my childhood, and my difficult years as teenager and early adult years. And I would be happy to share it in another post if you asked me to. But what has the most affected me in this story is that before I knew my Father in heaven, our Lord already loved me and blessed me. He has always been there and I’m just grateful in so many ways for how he has protected me through this 35 years. He was always faithful and there. 

So as a new year has just started my only wish  is that that we praise Jesus for saving me and all of us. For the sacrifice He made through his death and resurrection.

Last but not least, I learned that my original name was Evangeline: the bearer of good news… So I come with you with the good news that God loves us no matter what we have done, nothing can keep Him away from his children and that if we open our hearts to Him, he can make a way for us to live a life filled with gratitude and blessings. I do not say that life will be easy, I say that we get a friend that walks with us through hell and brings us to light…

Jesus did this for me… A baby who was abused in her early years and again in her early teenager years who became a rebellious and promiscuous young woman, a young adult heart broken, with no hope, ready to end her life: Jesus revealed Himself in such an amazing way that I am now married to the most wonderful man and I have 2 beautiful children.

I feel like it is time to put the whole story out in the open and have positive things come out of it.

I've already thanked my family and will do it again here: thank you so much for your love…. Especially to Mom, Dad and my big brother Emmanuel for loving me through my failures and for wanting to protect me not matter the consequences for them. I feel like my heart could explode right at this very instant, because of all this very strong emotions of love, gratitude that I feel towards them… I love you all more than words can say…

So I wish you from the bottom of my heart: A Very Happy New Year.

My only hope is that I find a way to pay forward the blessings that we get in our lives… Perhaps, if God permits by adopting as well…. But that is another story ….


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