Did I say this?

My mind is constantly in the gutter. Take for instance, this innocent conversation between my kids this week-end:

Morgane: Arthur, give me one of your balls.
Arthur: No, I need them. I had them first. Go find your own balls to play with.
Morgane: I can't find any other ones. Give me one...you need to share.
Arthur: NO!! Go away...stop trying to grab them!
Morgane: I just want ONE...and then you can play with the other one.
Arthur: Fine....here, just take both of them.
Morgane (whining): Mommy, Arthur threw his balls at my face.

To which I responded, once I could stop myself from doubling over with laughter, "Arthur, you don't throw balls at your sister's face. You could have just handed them to her"....on a silver platter, like your father did the day he married me.
Ok, ok, I did not say the last sentence… But still, it made me laugh…

My kind of luck is the type that....

 ...  has Morgane pooping at the EXACT moment I'm about to shovel the first bite of a hot and savory food into my mouth (nothing like hearing "Mommy, I need you to wipe my butt" as I'm about to sit down to a nice meal)

...have my kids completely quiet while I'm on hold on the phone BUT as soon as the operator comes on the line and announces, "Thank you for holding....how can I help you?", all hell breaks loose and they need my immediate attention right then and there

… makes me spend 15 minutes making pancakes for the kids and after the first bite, they will claim they like "Dad's pancakes" better (when in fact, these are the same pancakes that just happened to come in a ready-made package, which he microwaves in only a matter of 60 seconds)

...have Other Half and I finally sneaking upstairs for some 101 time (literally) and Morgane happens to have a nightmare at the precise same moment

But my kind of luck is also the type that will have my heart melt, especially when I hear....

... Arthur saying his prayers last night, he included (without anyone suggesting it) my dad, and his siblings who just lost their father 2 weeks ago...

"....and please remember to bring lots of peace and comfort to Lolo and his brother and sisters because their daddy is up in heaven with you now. We don't want them to be sad. Please let them know that he is an angel now and that he's watching over them.

....oh, and thank you for putting love in mommy and daddy’s heart.  And next time you see Jesus, tell him we said hello and that we really tried not to torture our dog today but she keeps on coming back. Amen."

Monday Notes...

I wonder where they are….

Who am I talking about? My neighbors! We’ve been leaving in this house since January of last year, yet I rarely see the neighbors. My mom-in- law always brags about the fact that she has wonderful neighbors that always want to give her a hand in her yard or are just inviting her for drinks, why is this not happening at my place?

Maybe you’ll give me an explanation after you read this…

On any given day, if you just happen to be strolling by our house, you may hear me making the following statements to the kids...

1. "It's not your fault?! Really?!  Well, then who's fault is it then?  Oh wait, let me guess...Jesus told you to do it, right?"
2. "Here's the phone...why don't you call the Wicked Witch and tell her how horrible I am for making you clean up the juice you just spilled?!  Maybe she'll take you back to her castle, bake you a batch of cookies and force her flying monkeys to dance for you."
3. "Can someone PLEASE drop a hammer on my head so I can check into the ER for a few hours and get a damn' break?"
4.  "God called.  He told me to remind you guys that he watches you all year long and he is NOT happy when you DEMAND that your tired mother cut the crusts off your sandwiches...(or whatever else I'm trying to manipulate them with)"
5. "Are you seriously trying to drive me insane on purpose?"
6. "You don't like what I'm serving for dinner?  Then get a job and buy your own food".
7. "Dude, I'm telling you, one more time...THOSE. PANTS. ARE TOO SMALL.  But if you want to wear pants that are way too tight, FINE! But don't come crying to me when you're bent over suffering from a crippling case of painful gas after you eat breakfast."
8. "If you kids need me, I'll be locked in my bedroom in the fetal position, sucking my thumb."
9. "It is bedtime.  So PLEASE stay in your bed!  I don't care if you're thirsty or have to go potty! GO. TO. SLEEP. NOW."
10. "Kids, I can see the moon.  It must be time for bed.  I don't care if it's only 6:30.  If the moon is out, it's time to go to sleep.  I'm pretty sure that's a law...somewhere".
11. "Someone left the fridge open...again!  Did I miss the memo that electricity is free today?"
12. "How many times have I told you not to leave your toys all over the floor?!  The Toy Fairy is coming by later tonight when you're in bed and snatch up your toys....but not before she flings a juicy, green booger on each of your pillows while you sleep".
13. "Well, well, well, thank you for allowing me to have the privilege of wiping your butt for you.  What would I do with myself if you ever learned how to do it on your own!  I'd probably cry hysterically all day long."
14. "Daddy's not here, he's at work.  I'm in charge.  Actually, I'm in charge even when Daddy is here.  You're ALL my little puppets...*insert evil laughter here*".

A story of Butt Cream...

I love my girl with all my heart and soul, but there are times when she wears on the delicate fabric of my nerves and I want to get in my car with no particular destination in mind and listen to AC/DC’s – Highway to Hell song, and drive with the windows rolled down and smoke a cigarette (although I have quit the smoking!!!).

Times like this:

Yes this is Morgane with butt cream all over her face and hair – Miss Morgane did not want to have a nap and decided the she wanted to make her skin smooth with some lotion (except it wasn’t lotion)…

The truth is couldn’t even stay mad at her, especially when she said: you mad Mom? I just wanted to look all pretty when you came to wake me up… Damn, she’s good…

Rain...

It's raining here in Brussels and I have this song currently on repeat since I absolutely love this song…

So, Lord - please don't stop the rain...

I’m looking forward to this evening and just staying inside. My plans for this evening?

1. Cook a meal for the kids and I while Other Half will be working

2. Tuck the kids into bed

3. Take a hot bath

4. Wear comfy clothes and watch a girlie movie

5. Read a few pages of my new cookbook before tuning the lights off and going to bed….

Oh what a beautiful plan…

Grateful...

Sometimes, in the midst of work, meetings, events (good ones and sad ones), and planning parts of our lives, it's easy to get caught up in the moment. I have been extremely guilty of this for the last couple of months.

Anyway, I stumbled upon this quote, and thought it was the perfect way to come back to reality and realize that even though there's a lot that seems to consume our lives, we should nevertheless be grateful for it all.

Life is too short to live with regrets, be unhappy, and drown in things that weigh us all down. So, take a a few minutes to rewind, recharge, and return to all that really matters in life.

I’ve compiled 10 things that I love doing every single day and makes me grateful for the beautiful life I have:

1. Have time in prayer

2. Prepare, sit down and share a meal with my children and my Other Half

3. Read at least one chapter of a great book

4. Have a date night with my Other Half

5. Have a play date with my best friend and her two adorable children

6. Take a whole day to pamper myself

7. Get dressed up (including hair and makeup)

8. Hear my mom’s voice

9. Make a stranger smile

10. Laugh so hard my tummy hurts

A strong positive attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.

Patricia Neal