Time to come out of the closet… 35 years is enough don't you think?... No! Not that way, you naughty minds)

Once upon a time, there was a young woman who fell in love with a young man. They fell in love and got married. They made plans to build a family but it seemed that the woman couldn’t get pregnant. So after 10 years of unsuccessful attempts, this woman not so young anymore went off to the doctor and had multitude of tests done. Her heart was hurting as well as her body. She felt sad and incomplete as she yearned for a child. The doctor couldn’t find anything wrong with her and so, they proceeded on having the man tested as well. This is when they discovered that he was the one who unfortunately had a very low sperm count and the doctor told this couple that they would never be able to conceive the natural way. And so the answer was found but the sadness and despair got bigger. 

On top of it, some people started wondering why they still didn’t managed to conceive a child. This woman not wanting to embarrass her husband decided she would keep the reason a secret, and that she would take on her the wondering looks, judgements, and gossips. A noble choice, a lonely choice…

The man probably loved her even more for that reason. They were both suffering and they both prayed that God would grant them a child even if it wouldn’t be one born from their own flesh.

Little did they know that all of this story would bring to God’s perfect plan… A young baby girl born in one of the poorest area of Bulacan in the Philippines was waiting for this heartbroken and desperate couple to come and take her away from this poor life. 

This couple was my Mom and Dad….

My Mom and Dad were told that my biological Dad was too young to take care of me, and that he was ready to let go of me, with the only condition that I was going to be taken care of by a good and loving family. So my parents went off to this province. They told me they found me laying in a box, a meter away from where the train would pass daily. Yes I was a street child. My step father was the one caring for me as my biological mother had abandoned me to follow her new beau. The day they found me they so saw burning marks on my foot, as this horrible man decided to use me as his ashtray. As I write this, I still have a hard time accepting that this baby was me.

My biological father as well as my Mom and Dad convinced my step father to let go of me, and my parents made a promise to my biological family that they would love, care, and fulfill my every needs.

Mom and Dad brought me home and that is when, at 4 months old my new life began…

What an incredible story isn't it? I learned the truth less than a month ago. I've been through a rollercoaster of emotions since then, but there is no doubt in my mind that all the actions my parents and my family did was made with love. 

For almost 35 years, my family kept the secret from me but only because they so love and respect my Mom and Dad. And I'm so grateful to them for allowing my Mom and Dad to tell me the truth in their own time and if they ever did…  I am grateful to my family for loving me as if I was their own blood, their loyalty and love has no boundaries.

Yes, the secret is out now and my only regret is that I didn’t hear from it sooner. I regret it because it would have prevented Mom and Dad from suffering so much. This is a secret that they kept for so long it has started to hurt them  many years ago. I guess they were waiting for the right time and perhaps they were also afraid that by revealing the truth I would get upset, not understand their reasons, and perhaps leave them.

My mom and Dad did more than keep a promise to my biological family. They gave me a life! A beautiful life! I will never be able to thank them enough, and there is not one inch of me that has felt some kind of anger towards them since I’ve learned this news… In fact, it has only made me love them more. What kind of people makes all the sacrifices they did only to be sure that I would live a comfortable, healthy, fulfilling life? They did, they left everything they had and their family in the Philippines in the hopes of giving me this beautiful life that I have now.

It also has opened my eyes even wider on how big our Lord is. Not many knows the complete story of my childhood, and my difficult years as teenager and early adult years. And I would be happy to share it in another post if you asked me to. But what has the most affected me in this story is that before I knew my Father in heaven, our Lord already loved me and blessed me. He has always been there and I’m just grateful in so many ways for how he has protected me through this 35 years. He was always faithful and there. 

So as a new year has just started my only wish  is that that we praise Jesus for saving me and all of us. For the sacrifice He made through his death and resurrection.

Last but not least, I learned that my original name was Evangeline: the bearer of good news… So I come with you with the good news that God loves us no matter what we have done, nothing can keep Him away from his children and that if we open our hearts to Him, he can make a way for us to live a life filled with gratitude and blessings. I do not say that life will be easy, I say that we get a friend that walks with us through hell and brings us to light…

Jesus did this for me… A baby who was abused in her early years and again in her early teenager years who became a rebellious and promiscuous young woman, a young adult heart broken, with no hope, ready to end her life: Jesus revealed Himself in such an amazing way that I am now married to the most wonderful man and I have 2 beautiful children.

I feel like it is time to put the whole story out in the open and have positive things come out of it.

I've already thanked my family and will do it again here: thank you so much for your love…. Especially to Mom, Dad and my big brother Emmanuel for loving me through my failures and for wanting to protect me not matter the consequences for them. I feel like my heart could explode right at this very instant, because of all this very strong emotions of love, gratitude that I feel towards them… I love you all more than words can say…

So I wish you from the bottom of my heart: A Very Happy New Year.

My only hope is that I find a way to pay forward the blessings that we get in our lives… Perhaps, if God permits by adopting as well…. But that is another story ….

But they were on sale!!!!!

I promise, these are the last ones I'll buy - this is what I said to the Other Half when he asks "Why Joy?! Why..."　

　

Ugh, why do I even spill these words out there when I ultimately and most probably will not be able to keep my word as I'm clearly unreliable when it comes to keeping promises where shoes, clothes, and bags are concerned?...　

　

Let's start from the beginning , shall we?　

　

1. I have OCD or should I say CDO to keep it neat? This mean that I've started packing a month away from our holidays just to make sure that we have everything we would need and ignored the Other Half's teasing that "the obsessive one hasn't gone on holiday yet" [see what I mean in point 8 on this link].　

　

2. Just after I started packing my things, I realized that I didn't have enough sandals! *insert cough here*. Ok, technically I do own two other pairs already but I've been wearing them all the time and whilst they do seem to be holding up alright for the minute, the chances of these pairs surviving the season aren't high (yes I did managed to convinced myself of this fact) --- So how could I make these pretty sandals last a little while longer?  By buying another pair duh! -- What a clever girl we have here :-)　

　

3. You know that feeling you have when you have to make a decision but just can't make up your mind? Ok, maybe you don't as you're probably not as indecisive as I can be...

Well, I had that feeling and after that moment I had "THE SIGN" in the form of my Mom (yes, shameless me has just blamed my Mom as the origin of my decision!).　

　

- So why am I bringing Mom in the story? Well, I had to go fetch something for her in the garden and I didn't have any shoes on, and that's when she handed me her sandals and we shall call it "the MAGICAL MOMENT" happened!

　

She handed me her Birkenstock sandals and just there " BAM !!!!", it was love at first sight. Butterflies in the stomach and everything else! Yes I can proudly say that my Mom has great fashion taste too!　

　

First, I tried to play it cool you know? Like when you notice this guy checking you up but you then pretend not to notice.　

　

But I knew the very second after I had put them on that I was hooked! That's when the dance seduction starts, and boy what a dance! I can't even describe the feeling unless I say: "Ugly yet so pretty and comfy"... The are so comfortable, I didn't want to give them back. That's when Mom told me the price and I almost had a heart attack. 　

　

4. But then I had to check online just in case you know price might have changed and that's when "THE SECOND SIGN" showed up! Imagine my utter joy ( seriously I really did squealed of sheer joy) when I found out that the infamous sandals were on sale! ON SALE GIRLS!!!!　

　

Why have I not seen this before?! For the record, I've had seen them before, I even remember they were quite nice. But at some point from thinking "they look alright" I've elevated the thought to "must have". 　

　

5. I am already ridiculously late to the party in realizing I have to have them. So what does a insomniac do at 2 AM? Buy the shoes of course! What these little voices in my head wouldn't shut up until I press the order button....

　

I am now counting the days until they are finally delivered. I can't wait to share with you some pics of me and these new found love of mine when I'll be on holiday!　

　

Here is a sneak peek just so you know what the fuss was all about:

　

　

　

　

　　

　

If they good enough for celebrities, I guess they'll be good on me too :-) - Letting my inner celebrity goddess shine for a while :-)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Summer...

There will always be something about summer. When summer arrives, I have this candid happiness that suddenly appears and a big desire to make the most of this time.

For ten precious months, I'll have been fantasizing on the possibilities and planning trips, outings near or far for me and my family.  I always look forward to precious and much needed quality time with the Other Half and the kids. The motivation to explore and learn new things with hopes of leaving this season emotionally fulfilled and my batteries recharged to face another "back to school and work" period.

Summer time reminds me of the little pleasures of life, savoring the time spent with loved ones, and just pause for a moment and be grateful ...

So here is to coktails, sand, cuddles, laughter, wanderlust and memories that I will sherish for a lifetime!

In a couple of weeks, I'll be going on another trip, but if you click here, you'll have a glimpse of last year's vacation in beautiful Tuscany, Italy - where Dolce Vita was the motto for the whole break.

Confession of an absentee...

Dear Blogosphere, please forgive me, it's been 941 days since my last blog entry. So much has changed and yet some things remain the same...

But I'm back and ready to share again all my positive quirkiness with you all. Stay tuned!!!

Rain...

 

Can you believe that it’s actually summer right now? I don’t, June has begun and rain is still here. While I try to remember that the rain washes away all things, and makes things clean again, it often makes me want to just stay in bed, with a good novel and some warm coffee and sulk.

As the days passes I’m looking forward to my well deserved break. 5 weeks of break! This hasn’t happened to me since I finished High School! That will be the time to just stay late in bed, enjoy every moment spent with my Other Half, kids, parents, friends and family that will be visiting…

Rain reminds me that sunshine always comes after, and that makes me smile…

Midnight in Paris...

If you haven’t seen this movie yet, you must! It was just that good! I’ve always loved Paris and though I’m only a train away from this beautiful city I haven’t been there for over 5 years!

After watching this movie, I just want to stroll through the streets of Paris and eat French macaroons. I want to seat at a terrace and read a good novel while sipping on an espresso with a pain au chocolat.  

I want to go to the Musée d’Orsay and watch for hours my favorites Degas…

I want to go to the Eiffel Tower and just under it, share a romantic kiss with my Other Half .

I want to escape this fast paced life and just enjoy life for a couple of days…

6 more weeks and I will be free as a bird! So why not take that time to simply do as I wish?... Yes why not? ... :-)

ENJOY THE TRAILER BELOW!

Mom...

MOM

I love you for all the times you picked me when I was down.

For all the times you traded your warm smile for my frown.

For all the times you brushed my hair and tucked me into bed… Or needed something for yourself and put me first instead.

For all the dreams that we have shared, the tears and laughter too.

I love you Mom with all my heart…

There’s no one quite like you!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU!

YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION AND I HOPE MY KIDS WILL BE AS PROUD OF ME WHEN THEY GROW UP AS I AM OF YOU!

I WILL LOVE YOU ALWAYS!

I don’t want to sound like a Party Pooper but…

I absolutely hate Valentine s Day! I don’t want to spoil it for the rest the lovey dovey couples out there but when it comes to me, I don’t need to have a special day to celebrate my wonderful Other Half.

Every morning I wake up and I’m thankful that the Lord has granted me another morning where I wake up next to my husband. So there will be no gifts, no romantic dinner, it will be an ordinary day for us because, love is in our home wither it is or isn’t Valentine ’s Day.

But I’ll tell you this: I'm grateful :

For our evenings together. When we’ve tucked the kids in bed… Rolling into each other...our bodies just fit. Love that we are two and can feel like one all at the same time.

The coffee he makes every morning.

That he surprises me by bringing me food at the office because the one I had wasn’t great. Very unexpected. Very appreciated.

His adoring eyes that are only for me.

The kind words he speaks everyday that always make my heart melt.

Our special moments when we say no to the kids and the rest of the world to focus on the US.

His patience. His understanding. His time. His belief in me.

Watching him cuddle our kids even if at THAT VERY moment when he deserves some quiet time.

This list is just some of the things I am grateful for. What gratitude I will always hold is that he **picked** me.

Now for a special shout-out! Thank you Jesus for sending such a great man to me to be my husband and my best friend!

 

I won’t wish my Other Half a Happy Valentine’s day, but I’ll wish YOU to find the kind of love that will make your world as beautiful as mine is today…. If I could stop the time just now, all would be perfect….

 

 

Happy 68th Birthday Mom! ♥

God good not be everywhere so He made Moms.

They say in the Bible that "He will give angels charge concerning me. To guard me in all my ways" (Psalm 91:11).

I believe my Mom is MY ANGEL. I took me to be a Mom to realize how wonderful you are, and I will never apologies enough for all the suffering I made you go through because of my bad behaviour while I was a kid and in my teens. You were the one one I was blaming all the time for all the bad things happening in my life, and I realize now that you were not to blame but instead I should have told you more often how thankful I am that you always stood by my side. You are the best mom, lola and wife, anyone could ask for. If I can be half the person you are, I would be already very proud. You are an example of love, patience, kindness, compassion, and care. I will love you always and sherrish all the days we have together and I pray for many many more....

I realize now that it is the little things the count, and you have done so many little things in my life that makes Olivier's, my children, and my life beautiful.

I thank Lord for blessing me with such a beautiful inside and out Mom. May he touch your heart more every day, and may you know his unconditionnal and everlasting love. God Bless you Mom, I love you more than words can say ♥

Remembering 2011 moments…

1.      you give your kids free reign to choose whatever game they want you to play with them...and of course, they choose the one that has tons of little marbles just waiting to be spread everywhere.

2.       you're singing I Can’t Help Myself by the Four Tops  in your car and notice the person in the car next to you is staring...and laughing. Story here.

3.       you're at the mall and at this lady walks over, greets you by your name and then starts chatting with you...and you can't remember for the love of God  who the hell she is because neither of you have your kids with you, which is pretty much the ONLY way you remember most people these days.

4.       you laugh so hard at something that someone just told you while you’re eating cereals that it so happens a few flakes just jump out of your mouth.

5.      your Other Half is on phone with his mom ...as you walk into the room, you do not notice that the phone is on SPEAKER MODE, and YOU say, "Good God, your mother can be SO freakin' annoying".

6.       in a café , you pretend to be speaking on the phone while drinking a cup of coffee so not to be bothered by someone you know when suddenly your phone rings… but you don't want to seem like a total loser so you just say, "Okay love, gotta go, I’ve got another call...yup, talk to you later".

7.       the elevator doors close and you look at the person next to you and wonder if this person is the devil in disguise. Obviously the movie "The Devil" had a huge effect on you!

8.      your 4-year old daughter is happily swinging herself  on  a pole like she would be on a sexy Britney Spears video clip in front of a huge crowd in a mall...and then she bellows, proudly, "Mommy, take a video of me dancing and send it to everyone."

9.       you take your son into a public toilet where he shouts, "Eeeeew!!! It really stinks in here"...right as the guilty person comes out of the bathroom stall.

10.   you stuck your heel in an elevator on your way to a job interview and your possible future employer is watching this bad episode happening… Story here

11.   this awkward moment when you fall face to face with a vibrator in the ladies’ room at your office and someone comes in and you loudly shout: Oh no that’s not mine!

12.   you start wondering if you’ll ever be able to out of that leather dress without having to ask for help. Story here.

 

Yes! That’s me indeed!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

I hope you all had the opportunity to celebrate this new year with people you love and who care for you. As for me, I spent it with my Other Half and all the Harry Potter movies! Yup you read this right, we left the kids with the grandparents and locked ourselves in front of the TV for 48 hours. The best time ever!

I was going back in my diary (yes this blog is not the only place I go to write on) and I realized just how much I’ve changed this past year. I had 3 objectives for last year:

1.       Get closer to my kids

2.       Understand the real meaning of marriage and try to become a better wife

3.       Open my heart to God

I now realize that these objectives will take me a lifetime to achieve but this year will all be about working even more  on the 3 points above.

Right now my life is on the brink of change and uncertainty. I am so out of my comfort zone that I really do get scared. Nonetheless, I know that this will only lead to great and better things. I just know. And I have faith that God will provide during these difficult times as He always did.

As a new year has started, I also have some new resolutions:

1.       Continue on my path to forming a more personal relationship with God. Although, I’ve been raised  in the Christian faith, I feel it is only now that I have finally allowed myself to open my heart to Him. I’ve neglected my faith for far too long, and this year God has smacked me upside down in order to get me back onto the right path. I am at a good place now, especially after this very revealing last year, but I want to go further.

2.       Get my sexy mommy back into shape. I gained some weight , and on such a small frame even 5 pounds makes a big difference! So as of tomorrow, I’ll start eating healthier again and squeeze some exercise time at least 4 time a week.

 

3.       Make a conscientious effort to better my relationships: with my Other Half, my kids, and my family.

 

4.       Show my love for the important people in my life I have this tendency to create walls and shut people out. It doesn’t make it easy to make friends so  I need to step out of my self-protective circle and be more proactive. I have met some great people last year, who share the same values as my Other Half and myself and who have kids who have the same age as ours. It would be wonderful if they could be part of our life for the coming years. We are lucky we already have good friends around us but meeting new ones along the way only brings even more love and kindness in our lives.

Whatever your wishes and hopes for 2012, I hope you’ll all get what your heart desires… HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

HOORAY... It's Christmas soon!

So let me share my thoughts for Christmas Eve and the following days:

I intend to make the most of the special days ahead. I want to enjoy every second that I have with my husband, kids, and the rest of the family and friends. Too often during the course of the year, we forget what the real priorities are and focus on the superficial.

The last couple of months made me realize how precious life is and how much I am thankful to still have many people that I love around me.

I have embraced the chaos that sometimes shows up in my life, because now I realize that with chaos comes hope and second chances.

The chance to tell my kids that it’s ok to fail at times as long as you keep on trying and that no matter what you will love them above all, the chance to be a better wife, the chance to show your parents that you are grateful for all the support and love they give you, the chance to tell your best friend that her kindness and wise words mean  the world to you, the chance to tell your big brother that you will always need him in your life even if you are now a grown up too, a chance to be a better Christian and live by the principles that you are teaching your children, a chance to give back the same blessings that you receive all year long…

It’s also a second chance to let go of all bitterness and to forgive and really forget… I just want to be able to look back one day and smile on God’s work in my life.

Christmas is a time to rejoice, count our blessing, and show everyone that we love how much we care about them.

Merry Christmas to all and may the year ahead bring you peace, love, a good health, and all God’s blessings…

I hope Santa has got Internet access...

I know I told the kids that you wouldn’t be coming by our house, but just in case, here is my letter to you:



Dear Mr. Claus,


I hope all is well with you and that you are not behind schedule preparing all the gifts for Christmas. I know you recently received many kids' very extensive and detailed list of demands, but I'm wondering: What about the parents? Don't we get to ask stuff? Listen, Santa (I hope you don't mind me calling you Santa?), my friends and I, we harbor desires no mere mortal could fulfill. You, however, are clearly no mere mortal. If anyone can do it, Santa, it's you! (Yes, I am kissing up to you and I’m sure You probably get that a lot.) So here you go.

All I would like is a joyful holiday for everyone, and a happy new year, and actually while you're at it could you eradicate all sadness?


Love and Merry Christmas to you too!


Joy

PS: I have been really good this year so if you have more time to go shopping (and this is where Internet access could help – you know shopping on-line is totally OK, you don’t need to go out for me to show you care), here a few things that have been on my Wish List.

Link can be found: HERE

(This would just go perfectly with my new sequin skirt :o)

Link for this one is HERE

(Well, because I'm simply not getting any younger! Can you believe I'll be turning 31 next year?!)

Link: HERE

(Yeay, this would be so Sex & The City!!!)

Link HERE

(Because one can't have too many shoes and these would be perfect for next season!)

Hopefully, I won't get this answer in my mail:

Et puis je fume... lalalalala

Hi everyone!

I don’t know about you, but I had a really nice week-end. We did not do anything special, we simply enjoyed each other’s company…

I also tried to practice these three attitudes...

So which words would define these two last days?

- Slow dancing in the kitchen with Other Half

- Cuddling up with kids

- Fun Christmas shopping

- Dancing crazy with the kids

- Nice family dinner

- Birthday celebration

- Red velvet brownies with white chocolate icing

- Love, sweetness, and a lot of laughing

- God

So yes it is Monday today, and this morning as I was dropping the kids to school, my daughter tightly embraced me and told me how much she loved staying with me, I would have given everything to make her wish come true. I take patience and look forward to the next week-end and re-doing it all over again…

Have a nice week everyone!

This song made me smile this morning and I thought was just appropriate for today… ENJOY

9 years today...

9 years ago today,  my Other Half fell in love with the girl behind this picture:

and me with this picture…

After a few e-mail exchanges and a lot of courage, I finally agreed to meet the guy in the picture (if you want to know all about it in details, you can click HERE)

This is us 9 years later:

Time sure does fly when you're having fun...

… or compromising.  Same thing or almost. Right?

Anyway, there are things that haven't changed after all these years:

My Other Half is still...

... the cheese to my macaroni

... the horizon to my sky

... the bacon to my eggs

... the laces to my sneakers

... the jelly to my peanut butter

... the gravy to my mash potatoes

... the smile to my face

... the bubbles to my bath

... the hot chocolate to my cookie

... the ink to my pen

... the mayo to my fries

... the icing on my cake

and LAST BUT NOT LEAST:

Happy anniversary to the best compromiser I've ever known.

I love you My Other Half !

“A 'Great Marriage' is not when the 'perfect couple'c omes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”

I am so Happy!!!

Just as I was pressing the button « publish post » for the last one, I got a text from My Dear Brother telling me he’s getting out of the hospital this afternoon!!!!

Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God! I am SO SO SO HAPPY!!!

So now I can be my normal self again and just start annoying him again!!! OK, OK, I’ll be good for a while (just enough time for him to fully recover), then this is what I’ll tell him:  

I AM SO HAPPY I COULD PEE IN MY PANTS!!! SERIOUSLY !!!!