Lucky....

After work this evening, I’ll be heading home to my 2 kids and my Other Half. As I’ll open the door, I’ll hear  Arthur and Morgane shouting joyfully: "Mommy! You’re home!". Other Half will come towards me embrace me and kiss me the forehead. Dinner will almost be ready and the kids will have taken their bath and will already be in their PJs ready to be tucked into bed after dinner.

That’s a usual weekday for me… A beautiful picture isn’t it?

Yet sometimes, I’ll admit, I take it all for granted. I hang on to little things that irritate me, which turns me into a total frustrated psycho bitch. So what if the house isn’t clean when I get home? What is so bad about Arthur getting told off at school because he was just well… being a kid?!

I was surfing on the blogosphere yesterday afternoon and found a post from a wife who lost her husband. a while ago He committed suicide and left behind a wife and 2 young children. This couple used to be happy, but then depression kicked in for the husbandand at one stage he just couldn’t handle the pressure that was in his life and ended it all…

And this is what his wife wrote:

I am so jealous, of everyone.

I dropped a friend of mine home a few days ago, and watched as she entered her house. Where her husband and children were waiting. The house lit and alive and warm.

The house I come home to is cold and dark as I bundle my children inside. It warms soon, with light and laughter. But it is up to me to do that.

I miss the feeling of coming home to safety and security, the home fires burning. Ever since January, all I've wanted to do is go home, where it's safe, and escape all this pain for awhile.

I miss being married. It was never a huge thing for me- "It's just a piece of paper." It wasn't until I got married myself that I realised it was so much more.

That was one of first things that hit me, about losing Tony- I was no longer someone's wife. I was no longer one of those special women, so loved and adored that someone wanted them all to themselves.

I loved referring to Tony as 'my husband', and he loved calling me his wife. ("You know what I always remember him saying, about you? Laughing and saying 'Fuck, I love my wife'", says one of Tony's friends). We loved the idea of being married, that actuality of it... we adored each other.

"I will spend the rest of my life, waiting to die, so I can see him again. I'll never find anyone I love that much again."

"I know," says my best friend. "I know.... you were the best of mates, when you weren't fighting."

Source: Random Ramblings of SAH Mom

This post brought tears to my eyes… I felt her pain and loneliness…

I just couldn’t imagine not having my Other Half next to me when I wake up. Having to walk through life without him by my side.

Of course our marriage is not perfect, and we do fight, and I’ll confess to considering leaving him at some point. But there is this voice in my head that keeps on telling me that I can’t give up on us. When I read a post like the one above,  it reminds me that what Other Half and I have is precious. It reminds me that the Lord has been very generous with us and that I shouldn’t take for granted all the blessings I have in my life…

Tomorrow Other Half and I will be celebrating our 5^th wedding anniversary. I love being his wife, I have found peace in my heart by being a wife and a mom and I wouldn’t change anything in my life at this point…

I thank You Lord for answering my prayers 9 years ago, when in the darkness of my room I was angry and crying. I asked that you finally send me someone nice, who would see my imperfections but yet would accept them, and love me unconditionally... Thank you for all the good people surrounding my family and supporting us throught his beautiful journey... I pray that you grant us many more years of happiness together and that we may all experience you grace and your love. Amen

It is no secret for those of you who read me regularly that I am a Christian and I believe that all the beautiful things that are in my life come from our Lord Jesus Christ. It is even more evident for me as I find proof in the Bible that if we act in a Christian way towards our husbands and children, the promises of the Lord will be on our side. He may not answer when we want Him to, but because of my faith I know that I am not alone facing the bumps on the road ahead of me... It is no coincidence that I saw the post above as I am celebrating another milestone in my marriage. My questions have been answered and I know that there is nothing better than my marriage and the family I have out there...

But for the non-believers there is also an answer for you: "Cherish what you have as much as you can, as in the blink of an eye everything could be gone. "