Mother’s guilt

Morgane is down with the flu… I had to call the office and let them know I would not be in today as I had no one to take care of my daughter and that I would be back on Friday. 

The boss gave me a hard time, basically not understanding that a flu would take that long to go away. I told her that this was per doctor’s instruction.

I thought to myself, maybe I should have tried harder to find a solution, maybe I should worry more about my job. Then immediately another thought came, what if the fever gets higher, what if Morgane feels worse this evening because whoever took care of her while I was at work did not notice that she was getting worse…

I know mother’s guilt is a pretty universal feeling, no matter what you have, how much money, what career, you will always feel the sting of parental guilt. I gave in this time and decided I would take care of Morgane. I admit I could have done a few phone calls and try to find a sitter, but honestly, I didn’t want to. I am her mom and I wanted to be there for her.

In Belgium, you are entitled to 10 unpaid days to be near your sick child. I believe that if this rule has been created it is for a good reason, and today I believe my reason was good enough.

It’s not the first time The boss gives me a hard time, and I usually suck it up. But there is something about criticizing anything related to my children that I can’t accept…

This is just a job, it pays the bills but it’s not my life…  I will not hide that I have been quiet unhappy at my job for a while now, so I guess this final straw is just a sign that I should move on…